Taxes are done.  Getting a few thousand back from the Government.  Bought a bike yesterday.  And I’m getting MG2’s fixed.  We went rollerblading together this morning, and we took the dogs for a nice long walk tonight.  I told her about how I used to rollerblade or run that same route, and how I would think about JB.  I know it seems strange, but I want to be honest in this relationship.  She said her method was to go on long drives.  Just think.  I think we all have done that before.  She made a great breakfast this AM, scrambled eggs and cinnamon rolls, and went with me to my nephew’s basketball game.  After the game, two of my sister’s, my brother-in-law, and my mom went with us to Macayo’s.  MG2 and I just ate chips and salsa, and ordered dessert.  It was fun.  We’ll probably waste away the evening by watching some more SG-1 and The 4400.  A great series that came out when I was in Hawaii, but I just didn’t watch because I was away from home.  And who wants to spend their time in Hawaii by staying in and watching TV.  I’m lame, but not that lame.  Sci-Fi is re-playing them so we watched the season.  Next season starts in June.   I got the cars taken care of, tires balanced and rotated, oil changes in both, and we are getting her A/C fixed (it went out a few weeks ago).  Luckily it’s not too hot yet, but I want to get it taken care of for her before it gets up there again.  My mom is also in need of money.  Which reminds me, I need to set up automatic payments to her.  I’m just going to pay her every two weeks to help her out.  It’s a good chunk, but she’s more than earned it.  )

I have a ton of work to do tomorrow.  I have no idea how I can get it all done, but I’ll find a way.  I just work better when I’m not at my desk.  I don’t have the concentration there that I need.  I could be doing it now, but I don’t want to.  I worked enough this weekend.  MG2 is asking me to stop time and see if we can just stay here right now.  She’s not looking forward to work tomorrow.  I’m really pushing her to find a different job.  Anywhere.  Terry knows I might leave if MG2 finds something somewhere else.  I’m hoping they would let me work remotely.  Their pilot program seems to be working well, and I work remotely at least once every two weeks anyway (if not more).  The other day I worked from Paradise Bakery for 3 hours.  That was nice.  It was packed with people doing the same thing.  You would think it was Starbucks or something. 

Well, I think MG2 might actually come and sit on my lap.  Sweeet.  I was kidding with her about having sex now, but I think she might call my bluff.  Better end this so I can be ready!  Nighty night…

Well.  What to say.  I was relieved to find out my three PST files (all my emails) for the last 5 years are not gone.  I just don’t know as much about computers as I thought I did.  Folders can synchronize, and make it look like things are gone.  All my lack of knowledge and I still managed to get a raise today.  Now, before I regret saying that, let me just comment that I’ve been a BA longer than all the rest and I’m currently 10-15k behind everybody else in that room.  Only catch is that it doesn’t take until April, as that begins a new budget year.  I’ve also been with TriWest for now over five years.  Not much in comparison to others, but it still makes me proud.  I was also relieved to know that nobody questioned the validity; it was just a matter of working it all out on the admin side.  Stupid HR.  Oh, did you know that employees can get fired for having personal web logs?  So, before I bitch too much…  I am really surprised Terry kept fighting for me.  Especially with me being off on a medical leave.  CSA Girl impressed me a few more times today.  She is just so on top of things.  Maybe that is just her area of expertise, but I always feel so behind her in knowledge.  I sent an email to JB the other day.  Valentine’s Day to be exact.  Is it wrong for me to be so, dare I say obsessed, with somebody like that?  I notice I run my tangents from one thought to the next on here.  So here’s a few more.  I got a new Le Mutt for Christmas.  It’s so weird, he looks just like my old one, only new.  I know that sounded weird.  But still.  MG2 got it off eBay.  I was moved to tears.  It was the best Christmas present this year (with the exception of being able to live thanks to Dr. Rosenthal).  We’ve been watching the show Medium on NBC.  It’s sweet.  It starts off with her having a dream, and the rest of the episode builds from that.  It’s so cool.  It takes place in Phoenix, which is kinda weird because everything is so staged and fake.  They even call the county Mariposa instead of Maricopa.  Weird.  I’m listening to my TiVo now.  The HMO features are sweet.  I can listen to MP3s streamed off of my PC in the other room.  Wirelessly.  It’s so cool. 

I had a really weird dream last night.  And although I truly believe it is a result of watching so many episodes of Stargate and watching the movie Stripstream on the Sci-Fi channel, I found it very engaging.  There have been a lot of shows and movies that I’ve seen as of late that have dealt with time travel, multiple realities and such.  Well, for some reason in this dream, although I remember very little, I was present when we (either myself or others) decided to move our galaxy.  Physically move the galaxy.  Like it’s place in the universe wasn’t good enough.  Well, it was moved back, but the impact moving it in the first place had was cataclysmic.  Then it had to rotate at a specific speed.  Life was never the same.  It was so deformed and the whole thing was so mentally overwhelming I woke myself up.  The thought of thinking on such a grand scale was mind-boggling.  I just wish I had the mental ability to understand it all.  Maybe that helps support my conquest for what some interpret as immortality.  Although I don’t know, at least I don’t believe, though I may be deluding myself, that I want to live forever.  Digressing.  Anywho.  The point is that being around to answer some of those questions would be great.  And although death may provide more answers than I’m aware, I don’t know that for sure.  So why give up something that could provide more.  If and/or when I die (which I very, very likely will), I will know what answers death provides at that time.  So again, why give up on this now?  Don’t think that one of my early thoughts when I was in the hospital wasn't what it would be like to die.  And that maybe I never can be too young to prepare my final wishes. 

MG2 made a great dinner tonight.  She even baked chocolate chip cookies.  I need to do my taxes soon.  I think I’ve decided to use the refund on pay the down payment on my next house.  I survived another February 4^th.  That would be Rachel’s (my old boss) birthday, but also the anniversary date for Cookie and I.  We exchanged a few brief emails that day, and even a phone call that morning.  Nothing too bad.  Just a quick, remember how it was, why it is the way it is, and just an overall review of life in general.  It wasn’t bad.  I was still off work at the time.  I provided clarification to her that it wouldn’t just be an anniversary, as it would have actually been the wedding day.  As I was planning to ask the year before.  I was even out looking at rings, and had the proposal all planned.  Then JB saved the day.  God I miss her.  I mean, all my logic says it wouldn’t have worked out, but still.  The thought.  The longing.  It must be old for you the dear old reader.  “Enough with JB!”.  Well, not for me.  If I keep it dormant it just comes back up harder than the time before.  I hope she is doing well.  I still have the bottle of wine…  Have a goodnight, and sweet dreams to each of you, wherever you are…

Just a quick note...

I'm back at work.  Well, not at the moment, as it's President's Day.  I'm just wasting away the day watching movies and television (so what else is new).  I've got a nice scar, but my stomach is still a little sore.  Especially when I move around a lot.  The more I get around, the more it hurts.  I rub it like a pregnant woman.  I've been asked "when's it due" more than once.  I'm going through a phase with the web logs.  I don't like the word 'blogs' but I'm coming to terms with it.  I'm looking into Google's version, while weighing the pros and cons of others.  Why can't I use Xanga?  No reason.  I just like to shake things up a bit.  Just a moment ago I was looking into virtual keyboards.  The ones that project a keyboard with lasers onto a flat surface.  Sweeeet.  I'm just into toys.  Thanks to K-Girl for helping me get my new BB software up and running.  Too bad the network went down for a record amount of time on Friday.  That's what happens when they don't want to pay the electricians overtime to do the work on a weekend.  I guess one of the things that really keeps me typing, is to see those that come back looking for what I'll say next.  Kinda like the reason most people continue to listen to Howard Stern...they want to hear what he'll say next.  I know PPE has been thown off guard by my greetings via our mutual friend, but it's a start for me.  I guess I just can't get back into that life.  I was invited up to Karen's place last night, but I couldn't wait to get out of there.  I'm just not a social butterfly.  I'm a butterfly, flighty as all hell, but not like that.  I see even TDM has drifted away from his blog, there I used the term.  It happens.  I had all that free time at home for two months and I posted, what, once?  Twice?  Then again, am I to comment on what episode of MacGyver I'm watching on that given day?  Or to ramble on about things like how I actually kissed Karen once?  Not to down play that, as it was AWESOME, but still.  If it seems that my life is so boring to me, how can it ever be exciting to anybody else?  Especially via text?  Should I be adding pictures?  I just might...  I've mentioned several times about how I just don't feel I am the person I used to be.  Besides the fact that I'm missing a section of my small intestine.  An example is how I can't seem to watch horror movies anymore.  I used to love them.  Can't figure it out. 

DNA defines what we are.  It's predetermined the moment the sperm hits the egg.  But it never defines who we are.  Because that is never constant.  Who we are continues to change with every passing moment...