What really makes us happy?  I’ve had nice conversations with MG2 just before going to bed.  It’s hard though because I know she is sleepy, and I’m not sure that if I was to have the conversations at an earlier time of day that I would get different answers.  I want to go back to the way I was, as a kid, with an active imagination.  But at the same time, I would love to be rid of that drive, that chemical in us that makes me want and crave women.  Karen is a nice constant reminder.  She’s everything I want, and don’t want, all wrapped into one person.  She’s got the life I would love to live, but her personality is just way off for me.  What I have and want should be clear as day, but I’m selfish.  I want it all. 

I gave KLM a boost and pushed a job opening we have her way.  I don’t know what will become of it.  Her resume is lacking, but is it just because of a lack in experience, or is it that she just doesn’t have what it takes?  JenJen is having her graduation in a few weeks.  I’ve yet to RSVP, but I plan on going.  I’m not sure how weird it’ll be, but I’d like to go.  A long time ago I sent her a letter, pretending to be from U of A, stating that she couldn’t be accepted and to try ASU.  I thought it was hilarious.  I talk way too much about my ex's with MG2.  I wonder if I give her an incorrect impression on how I feel about things.  I still have the reminder on my calendar to get a card for JenJen.  It was her birthday card (from September).  I bought the card before her birthday, but never sent it. 

I caught up on CSA Girl’s page.  I don’t even know what to say there.  Mostly out of disappointment in myself.

Got the crappy HD-DVR from Cox.  It works.  It does what it is supposed to, but it is no TiVo.  Don’t get me wrong, the thought of being able to record 24 in HD with 5.1 surround sound will be sweet, but their user interface sucks.

I also survived the holiday party.  That was interesting.  MG2 was introduced to many a new people.  PPE has been nothing but sweet, but I just have issues.  I'm sorry.  Maybe it should say something that she is as persistent as she is, and taking the time to look for text that may not be there, or maybe she is just bored.  Either way, I'm sorry that I am who I am.

$200,000 gets you into space, $50,000 will clone your pet, and brainwaves can move a cursor on a screen.  I’m still amazed that the tablet PC recognizes my handwriting and can convert it to text. 

I’ve been thinking about JB a lot.  More than I should, and maybe want to.  Not too sure there.  I hear the songs, I eat the mints, and she is just always on my mind.  I wish I knew why.  Is she just my Nadia?  The one that got away?  Or am I just dreaming that there may have been more.  More that couldn’t have been.  Dream, that’s what I do.  I love it, hate it, and wish I could do it after I die.  All under a Vanilla Sky…