April 16, 2004
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I’m batting a thousand. That’s what I was told by Lisa, as I’ve said all the wrong things to her and Batlover. And as for fucking Jay, well, I’m not allowed to talk to him for a week. We’ll see if he still wants to chat after it all pans out. I’m not sure what happened, actually, I think I do. But it’s difficult to explain in words. It just didn’t happen. And that’s okay. They are both great people, and they will both survive just fine.
I’m just ready for that wine on Saturday, but no LOTR, as I don’t know when I’ll be ready for that, but when I am, I’ll need it right then and there. I know we have a list, so we’ll just have to review it and see what we can do…
I felt like Jerry Maguire today calling my friends to see whom I have left.
I’m not sure what will come of this, I set no expectations. But, the second I did, was the second I think it’s started to fall apart. It’s almost 9 pm. Should I wonder? Should I worry? No. Because life will go on. I just didn’t let myself shine, at least not yet. With some people you never get the opportunity to shine. It’s been interesting. Since talking to her I’ve felt younger than I ever have before. I’ve brought back a lot of old memories, specifically from high school. I learned another side of her today. The family side. Family seems to be very important to her. And I have no problem with that. Although Cookie would probably tell you differently, it simply isn’t true. The power of names was the other thing. It was very interesting to hear her take such an interest in it. It showed another deep side to her. It’s not like I’m keeping score, but she just says so many things that amaze me. And I just don’t feel like I’m keeping up. It’s hard to get into the swing of things. Granted, it’s been 6 months. But it is easier said than done. Maybe that is why Batlover is friends first. Maybe that is easier? No, probably not for me. I’ll probably starve to death here in a minute. Without food, the amazingness and fantasy could just fade away…into those billowing winds I was talking about earlier. As I’ve learned before, it doesn’t take much to revive things. So I wouldn’t count on my thoughts and feelings just up and disappearing any time soon…
I took Maria (You’reTooWhiteForMe’s boss) out for lunch today. She has been a great help with the Desktop Application, and I wanted to make sure she knew I was appreciative. She has been working 12 hour days as well, and I couldn’t have made it without her.
I had a great conversation with Dr. B during lunch on Thursday. The whole “fact or fiction” game was a blast. I revealed more than I could imagine revealing, then again, she hasn’t been holding back either…
KLM is coming home! I’m so excited, I miss her so much. Even Cookie stated she misses her. I can’t wait to see all the scary movies, go play racquetball, marble slab creamery. And just do everything it is we always used to do. She finally sold her house, and she should be here next month. I’ll be waiting with open arms…
Maybe the whole youthfulness thing comes along with a going out later than usual thing? I mean, I can stay up forever, but getting a late start? I don’t know, it just feels weird.
Tigger got a good run tonight. The bunnies were plentiful as well. Everywhere you looked they were there. It was nice. Makes me happy to live where I live…even if it’s a first…
Well, I’m signing off for tonight. Standby one
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