February 19, 2004
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Tonight, I'm going to get this done early. I really want to get some sleep. But I'm going to watch CSI in HDTV. I haven't made as much of use of that HDTV as I should have. If I'm going to dish out the money, I should probably use it. I watched the Mole, and could not believe the results. Dennis Rodman won $222,000, and Angie Everheart was the mole. Every season I am surprised. I started watching the O.C., and then realized that I really wanted to get my post in tonight. I am now about a week and a half behind on my TiVo. Okay, enough talk about that...
Thin_Ice thinks I have issues. But what you need to learn is that we all have issues, and this is the place for me to vent mine. And I am just patiently waiting for her to come along. Don't get me wrong, if I don't get some soon, I'm going to explode, but that doesn't mean that I will just take anything that comes across my line of sight. Besides, I’ve turned down several in the last few weeks. That will make the right one, oh so much better. Oh, and you really want something to talk about? I had Subway for dinner again tonight. That would make four nights in a row. It’s not my fault the damn thing is right behind my place. And they hook me up on occasion, so, it’s worth it.
Oh, and JB, remember that how you told me I told me it is okay to think about somebody specific? I know Dr. B said to as well, and, I've now done it twice. The second time was a few weeks ago, but I wanted to let you know that I did. It really adds, well, a spice and excitement to the whole experience. And I'm sorry that your PC doesn't play audio. I really will come by and take a look at it. I know it has been looked at before, probably once by Mr. Thin_Ice himself, as well as another Xangan for whom which I don't have a screenname, but we'll get it fixed. If it is a hardware issue, I'll have to find another connection. Any thoughts Kolohegirl on who that connection may be? And, if all else fails, I'll bring you my CD player.
I didn’t hear from Dr. B today, nor from You’reTooWhiteForMe. I was really busy today, just sucking up to those that I needed to at work. I got props from plenty of people on some stuff I did, so I should be back on track here soon. I really like those people in my life that even if you don’t talk to them everyday, when you do talk to them, they appreciate you just as much. Like Dr. B. I know she won’t be upset if I didn’t talk to her for several days. We both know we are friends, and that we both have our lives. Same with SakiWan, and even my good friend from high school (I need a nickname for her, KLM will work). She, KLM, got married and moved to
Okay, I had to take a break to watch CSI. I didn’t realize how fast time flies. So much for getting to bed early. I can’t seem to make it happen. Oh, and the two times mentioned in the third paragraph, is now three. I guess I just got it in my head, and couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I hope I can eventually get past all the drama that I feel I have in my life. I’d like to get on this thing and talk about other thoughts. What those thoughts would be I’m not sure. Probably because I don’t spend enough time thinking about those other things in life. I don’t know, perhaps childhood stories. Like when I used to tell my brother I was going to race him to sleep. We had bunk beds. We would both be lying in bed, but I wanted to just feel alone. Just to think. And for some stupid reason, I didn’t believe I could think knowing he was awake below me. So, I would tell him that I’m racing him to sleep. And every so often, I’d whisper “I’m winning.” What a moron, but the stupid thing is, it seemed to work, and the next morning, I’d always tell him that I beat him so I could do it again the next night. He would fall asleep faster, so that way I could lie awake in bed just thinking whatever it is a 10 year old thinks.
You know, if I do this enough, my fear of dying might not be so bad. Because I will feel that I have left a lasting impression. I guess I just didn’t want to die, knowing that I won’t be remembered. Having all these bundled up thoughts that I haven’t shared with anyone. And not having done something that will stand out. I mean, yeah,
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